the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
