I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
