So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize