You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
