marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
