We're like a lot better than the average bears
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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