Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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