At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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