What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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