Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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