OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
