I think im going to throw up on grandma
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
