I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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