Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
