Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you win again, gameday.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
