Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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