omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
