What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I supernannyed him into submission
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