If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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