hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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