Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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