Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
