if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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