You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
