can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My hand turned me down
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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