You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
