Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
