Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
