her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
