You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
