apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
