so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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