we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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