Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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