Sponge bath it is.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
