I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
