So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
