Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
