I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize