Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
