these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
