bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize