I heard we made out
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
