Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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