If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
