I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize