Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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