If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
