This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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