mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
420 ftw
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
