I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
wrigley field is MILF paradise
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
