Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
