I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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