Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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