Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize