with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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