one might say we're banned from that church
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
