That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
