when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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