my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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