You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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