I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize