She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
