Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
