The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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