my mouth tastes like poor choices
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
